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100 Things Do Do In Holland Before You Die: #14 - Practice Your Pronounciation At Lemonjello's

 Going WAY back to the very first post I made on this here blog, I talked about deep cuts, hidden spots, locals-only venues, and other truly weird stuff...It was apparently in my handwritten notebook that I mentioned "eccentric business owner with a squadron of garden gnomes," because I distinctly remember having the realization that there was, in fact, a business owner with a squadron of garden gnomes:  Lemonjello's Coffee.

Now, I graduated from Jenison High School in the heat of the 2000s, when emo and indie culture were starting to blossom in a big way - I had friends who have posted things like "I'm so bummed, I just heard my favorite band on the radio :(" and I myself have unironically said "They're a pretty obscure band, you probably haven't heard of them."  And, from Jenison, there's this weird paradox where Holland is SO FAR AWAY, but Grand Rapids is *just right there*.  The faraway, exotic locale of Holland had this legendary coffee bar, right off the campus of Hope College, where there are poetry slams and acoustic concerts, but there are also Bible studies and youth groups that meet there - the unattainability as part of the draw, because you had to know someone from Hope to know about this coffee bar:  Lemonjellos.  What I've found fascinating is that even my parasocial (and oft cited) imaginary friend Robert Swierenga noted the artsy atmosphere of Lemonjello's, saying that they "[feature] local bands and Open Mic Night the first Wednesday of every month, catering to local students..."

Per a Humans Of Holland interview, the name "Lemonjellos" came from an urban legend about twins named Orangejello and Lemonjello - pronounced with the emphasis on the middle syllable "Or-RANG-ello" and "Lem-ON-jello."  I can attest to having heard this urban legend in one of the Junior High sex ed classes.  The title of Bareman's entry in 100 Things To Do... is also a commentary on the humor of the name...although I cannot find a source on this, I'd have sworn there was a bit where the coffee shop would answer the phone with "Lemon jellow's" on some days and "le-MON-zhu-lows" on others, but again I cannot find backup for this and I'd hate to propagate a myth.

According to the same Humans Of Holland interview, the gnomes were from Matt (the owner)'s business partner shortly after they opened.  There's an ever-rotating cast of garden gnomes on the shelves and surfaces inside Lemonjello's, which is part of the hipstery, quirky charm of the place. They're based in the "Gnome Liberation Movement" out of France and Germany, and the coffee shop liberates the gnomes by providing them a life of luxury hanging out all day, not doing any gardening or mining or anything.
 

I've talked a bit about Lemonjello's before, when I ranked my top 3 macchiatos in Holland.  And, I still cannot get over how utterly professional every coffee I've ever gotten there has been.  Even a simple drip coffee to go is impeccable.  These folks work hard at what they do, and take a great deal of pride in everything.  With all that being said, I'd highly encourage any visitors to Holland to stop at Lemonjello's Coffee Shop at 61 E. 9th St.


Works cited:

Swierenga, R. (2014). Holland Michigan. Holland, MI: Van Raalte Press, pg.1371

 Bareman, V. (2023). 100 Things To Do In Holland, MI Before You Die. Reedy Press.


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