The time is nigh - AskReddit has begun asking questions like "What advice would you give to an incoming college freshman?" Since life ebbs and flows like it does, I find myself returning to academia this fall - and with a decade of struggles under my belt, I've been contemplating these questions myself: Compared to last go-round, what am I going to do differently this time? What would I tell myself when I was 18? Would 18 year old me even listen?
I went from Dean's List to Academic Probation within 2 school years - I got cocky and developed a piss-poor attitude, plain and simple. What I'm doing differently this time is what led to that dean's list success in my first semesters: Arranging study groups and outside class activities to build rapport among my classmates and further our mutual understanding of the course content. My success as a freshman can be directly correlated to external study groups and being social among my classmates. But, there's a movement that happens in your second year in the dorms. You've learned the ins and outs of dorm life, and have an air of superiority above the frosh. Because you're ruling the roost, you lose sight of the details. Drama and friction breed because you won't listen to anyone around you. Again, I lived in the dorms for all of my bachelor's degree, so I got to witness this across quite a few dorm groups...I know I'm not alone here. I heard the advice of others, but I couldn't see until years later that their advice was prescient and applicable to my situation.
With all that being said, my first platitude is You Chose This Life. You can't pick your parents, you couldn't pick your elementary and high school, you can't pick your hair color, eye color, whatever. But, you worked your ass off to get into college. You've paid the application fees, taken the entrance exams, state standardized tests, SAT's, and ACT's. You chose to do this, so it's your responsibility to make it work.
This ties right into my second platitude: Be The Nerd. Yeah, it's cool and edgy to be anti school-spirit in high school. Pep rallies and spirit days are lame. But, you were forced into those situations. You chose college. Part of making it your best is to get out and get involved. Professors will remember students who give feedback, those who interact with them after classes, and those who attend office hours. Your fellow students will remember you as a leader when you organize study groups (hell, half of my Linkedin page is populated by those "nerds"), plus leading study groups and explaining things is a fantastic way to further your own understanding on the topic. I never went above and beyond to pick my professors' brains until much later in my collegiate path, and that harmed me in the short term. I thought school sports were lame in college until I realized that I chose that life, and it was my duty to celebrate it. Once I hit that realization, I got into the crowd chants at hockey games and other nerdy things. I began getting active in clubs and volunteer groups. My grades, attitude, and overall satisfaction did a total 180, and things began looking up for me in a tremendous way.
A broader platitude deals with balance, and growing into a functional adult in this crazy new co-ed dorm setting: Sleep More Than You Study, Study More Than You Party, But Do All Three. Maintain your physical health and wellness - a girl in my sophomore dorm was taking Adderall to keep up with her Honors' class load, and wound up passing out from exhaustion in the middle of the hallway. She missed out on the first clause in that sentence. As stated above, you chose this life, and you gotta be the nerd. You're in college because you're seeking growth, both mentally and socially. But, if that means taking a mental health day, do that...just don't let it get out of hand. A strong second priority is academics. Don't let World Of Warcraft or internet chatrooms spoil your class experience. Don't let sex, drugs, or rock-n-roll spoil your experience either.
A certain permutation of that platitude is as follows: You Only Get One Chance To Be Stupid, And This Is It. College and dorm life are training wheels for the real world. You're gonna screw up. There are real-world consequences to what you do...but, personal growth is all about learning those consequences, learning your limits, and mitigating risks to avoid those consequences. Consent is consent if and only if an enthusiastic yes is given, and it's perfectly okay to maybe sleep around a little...a lot of people find they don't derive satisfaction from that lifestyle, but there are reasons that "friends with benefits" cultures develop within communal living situations. You're the most attractive you'll ever be, and surrounded by dozens of others who are at the same point. Things are gonna get weird, and you're (probably) not going to burst into flames for pip-pipping the diddly doo with a stranger. But, wrapping it in with "be the nerd," interpersonal communication is key - let your boundaries and expectations be known; and let your needs and wants be known as well. Don't let alcohol control your life, but it's perfectly fine to get out and party a little. Get drunk, get hungover...hell, go to class hungover. But The same concept applies to soft drugs like weed or acid...a little bit won't kill ya; in fact, many of the C Suite employees of quite a few companies I've worked for have been active users of drugs like that.
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